


Deliberate Scars

by Kimium



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Brief Awakening scene, Brief details regarding burn scar, Burn scar, Canon Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Leo and Niles being supportive lovers, M/M, Minor threat of torture, Odin never catching a break, One Shot, Revelations Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 23:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15521352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimium/pseuds/Kimium
Summary: One Shot. Revelations Route.Not all scars are accidental or a result of fighting. Some scars are deliberately inflicted. (They hurt just the same.)





	Deliberate Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!!
> 
> I spent a good twenty minutes after I finished this wondering if I should even post this fic. It feels similar to other things I've written for Fates (and Odin). However since I spent a good two days on this fic I figured it would be a waste for me to just hide it in my folders so here I am. 
> 
> Before anyone reads this I want to make a disclaimer: I mention briefly torture and suggest the possibility of it. It's very mild but I want people to be safe. If that makes you uncomfortable please be careful. Your comfort when reading fanfiction is most important, so take care of yourself!!
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos and comments as those always make my day. Also if you want to check my tumblr out or chat with me there or ask anything the link is right [here](http://www.kimium.tumblr.com).

Ylisse was on fire and Owain was scared.

His legs hurt from running and his arms hurt from fighting but he had to keep moving. Moving meant he was alive. Moving meant no one could get him. Moving meant survival.

Owain pushed himself more and ignored the screaming in his legs. His clothes were dirty and muddy and sweat stained his brow. At his side was his father’s sword. It was heavy and long, not a child’s sword but Owain couldn’t part with it. The weight was a comfort and a reminder. Owain’s heart twisted but he couldn’t stop and cry.

None of them could. Not now.

The enemy had surprised them and they were scattered. With no one around him Owain had to fight his way out on his own. The sword he had used was one he had swiped from a dead body. It had been a cheap sword but useful for stabbing Risen and tearing their already decaying flesh. Owain had to brace himself and not think, stabbing into the rotting flesh. It was always the hardest part, the first stab. Everything caved in and the smell was horrific. It didn’t help when Risen breathed and dark smoke erupted from their wrinkled, deformed, toothless mouths. Owain had thrown up along the side of the castle before he ran off.

Sharply turning Owain tried to remember where they’d meet. They had many locations scattered across the area but if Owain played his cards right he could make it to one of them, rest, and hopefully find others. If he didn’t he’d wait until morning and then continue the search.

That however came to a halt when something bright came flying at him. Owain skid and the sudden change in momentum caused his body to fall forward into the dirty. Owain felt some rocks and pebbles in the ground catch at his skin and rip at it. He hissed at the minute pain and quickly stood up.

A Plegian mage stood there and Owain felt terror settle firmly in his heart. With shaky arms Owain went for his father’s sword, ready to gut the mage and run off but he was stopped when another fire ball was hurdled towards him. Owain gasped out and immediately fell to the ground to avoid it.

That was his first and last mistake.

Another fire ball came and then there was nothing but white hot pain. Owain screamed and collapsed to the ground, trying to roll to put the fire out but another burst of fire hit him. Owain’s mind shut down and all he could focus on was the smell of skin burning and the pain that was eating at him. The mage was saying something, probably gloating or insulting him but Owain had no energy to listen. All he could think of was how it hurt and hurt and hurt…

The mage was talking again, closer and Owain wondered if this was a form of interrogation. Or torture. It was possible. They had to know who he was. A pit formed in his stomach and Owain wanted to crawl away but then a hand descended on his hair and pulled. Owain screamed out.

A blast of water suddenly hit him and the pain dulled for a moment before the water irritated the burned skin. Owain kept screaming as his nerves were dancing along the charred skin, the exposed layer of tissue. Blood filled Owain’s nose and he wasn’t sure if it was his or not. The only plus was the mage’s grip left him and Owain crashed to the ground.

Then he felt the soothing effects of healing magic over his back. Owain wished he could stop screaming but he couldn’t. It had slowly devolved into blubbering and crying. Owain felt hot tears run down his face, staining his cheeks and the ground.

Another round of healing magic hit him and then something cool was pressed to his lips. Owain tried to turn his head. Just because it was healing magic didn’t mean it was good. What if it was more Plegian forces and they wanted to keep him alive because he was a Prince? What if they just wanted to torture him some more later?

But then Owain felt familiar hands along his face, two fingers pressing into his neck to check for a pulse. He kept crying but Owain relaxed as best as he could and let Brady assess the situation.

The hands didn’t leave him but then someone scooped him up gently. Owain felt armour and wondered if it was Kjelle. His arms weren’t working so Owain couldn’t cling to whoever was holding him. Instead he tried to control his sobbing so no one else would hear them as they traversed through the forest.

Movement hurt and the jostling every time a step was taken made Owain bite his lip so hard it bled. A little while later something thick and soft was put in his mouth. Cloth so he didn’t injure something from biting. Owain sent a silent thank you to Brady and tried to ignore the dry taste of cotton.

When they finally reached one of their safe houses Owain was settled gently on some sort of clean cot. He groaned and buried his head into the pillow. More healing magic washed over him and exhaustion hit Owain. His eyes closed and sleep washed thickly over him.

~

Waking up hurt but his back hurt more and demanded his attention. Owain groaned and tried to move but felt a warm hand at his side before something was pressed to his lips. It was a straw. Owain immediately drank and felt marginally better. Groaning Owain tried to look over to where Brady was. Beside Brady was Kjelle as Owain had suspected and Severa. Owain blinked and wondered if Severa had always been there or if she had arrived after he fell unconscious.

“How are ya feelin’?” Brady asked.

Owain groaned and shifted. His back was bandaged but the skin felt tight. Mild pain danced in his vision and with the movement he felt the skin shift like it was trying to cover a wide area but wasn’t big enough. The edges felt seared and uncomfortable. It was going to scar. Owain knew it.

“It feels like someone skinned someone else and sewed it onto my back.” Owain concluded, his voice dry. “How long was I out?”

Severa’s lips twisted and she straightened her back. “I’m going to relieve Cynthia of guard duty.”

Cynthia was there too? Owain wondered if there were more people but then felt a bit bad. Severa wouldn’t say it but his description probably sickened her. He’d have to apologise later.

“You were out for two days.” Kjelle answered his question.

Two days. Owain groaned. “What have I missed?”

“Nothin’ much.” Brady shuffled. “Lucina says when yer better we have to talk.”

“Talk about what?” Owain asked.

Kjelle shrugged. “No idea. Rest up. I’ll tell everyone else you’re awake.”

She left. Owain looked at Brady properly. His eyes looked a bit puffy and his skin a bit red. Weakly Owain lifted his hand out for Brady to take. Brady took it and collapsed on a small stool. Owain tried to rub his fingers over Brady’s hand to comfort him.

“Thank you.” Owain did his best to look over while lying on his stomach. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Don’t apologise.” Brady mumbled. “Yer fine now.”

Fine meaning he wasn’t holed up in some Plegian camp tortured and used for their sick pleasure.

Owain forced the grim thought away and smiled. Despite a large scar on his back he was alive and safe. That was what counted. “Yeah. I am.”

~

Later that day Owain was able to sit up as Brady changed the bandages. Beside him was some sort of homemade burn salve and the coolness of the cream made Owain groan with relief. As Brady changed the bandages Owain took a glance in the small mirror on top of some sort of vanity. He couldn’t see the scar entirely over his shoulder but it spanned most of his back, angry and red. Over time Owain was sure it would dull in colour but wouldn’t disappear. He sighed and let Brady finish his work. Now wasn’t the time to worry over a scar. Lucina wanted to talk to them and Owain was bursting with curiosity.

Nothing though, could have prepared him to hear the phrase time travel out of Lucina’s mouth. As everyone nodded their agreement to undertake the impossible task Owain hoped that his wound had healed enough for him to fight. Gripping his father’s sword Owain felt his resolve firm.

~

Later, much later, when the timeline was sorted and Grima gone Anankos appeared.

At least this time Owain wasn’t recovering from a burn wound when it was proposed to them.

~

“It’s hot; why aren’t you joining everyone?”

Leo’s question was innocent but it didn’t stop Odin from flinching just a touch. Curling his legs to his chest Odin gave his best smile.

“The soothing waters of summer and relaxation call out to me like a siren, tempting, but an unnecessary experience for me to undergo in order to fully embrace and enjoy the season.”

Leo’s lips twisted and he looked out to the ocean. “You can be honest with me and tell me if you don’t want to swim Odin.”

Odin winced. “That wasn’t the intent I wished to convey to you Leo.”

“Then are you uncomfortable swimming like Xander?” Leo asked.

Uncomfortable was the polite term. Odin would never say it aloud. “That’s also not it.” Odin flushed. “I just don’t feel like swimming right now.”

Leo hummed and didn’t pursue the topic. Standing up he undid the cape around his shoulders and let it fall gently to the ground. At the angle Leo was standing at Odin could see his back, smooth and unblemished unlike his own.

“If you want to join us later you can.” Leo said keeping the invite open.

Odin smiled at Leo’s consideration. “Thank you for the offer Leo.”

Leo gave one small smile in return before he went off to the ocean, joining the rest. Odin lay on the blanket they had brought over so he wasn’t completely on the sand and stared up at the umbrella they had also brought to shade themselves.

Relaxing was something they couldn’t afford to indulge too long in. Tension was growing and Odin could taste the beginning of war and conflict. Any and all interactions with Hoshido ended in a brawl and at the rate the two nations were going people were going to die. Odin wished they could say something but the curse sat heavy on his chest and mind. At this rate a war would break out and they wouldn’t be able to fulfil their promise to Anankos.

“Sleeping out in this heat?” Laslow plopped beside him.

Odin sat up and smelt the sea salt and brine. Laslow’s hair was wet and a towel was wrapped around his shoulders to catch the drips. Sand clung to his feet. Odin reached out and ruffled Laslow’s hair.

“I was just relaxing.”

Laslow nodded and looked out at the ocean. “It’s so different from any sea I’ve visited. The water is so clear and blue. At certain parts you can see the wild life. It’s fascinating. I wonder what other creatures roam the waters of Nohr.”

“Maybe sea dragons that look like Nowi or Nah.” Odin suggested.

Laslow laughed. “Smaller versions but basically the same.” He then sighed. “I miss them.”

“I do too.” Odin admitted softly.

Silence fell and the sounds of the waves reached their ears as well as the seagulls that circled lazily around them. Odin shoved all thoughts of Ylisse away. They had a job to do in Nohr.

Laslow then stood up. “I best clean up and change. We’ll be leaving soon. This was fun.”

“While it lasted” was left unsaid but it hung in the air thickly and heavily. Odin didn’t point it out and instead stood up and began to clean up their area. Change was heading their way. Odin’s hand tightened on the blanket before he meticulously shook the sand out and folded it.

~

Corrin chose neither.

Odin stared at the empty battle field. Corrin, Azura, Jakob, and Felicia were missing. Hoshido was gone and Nohr was about to head back.

His hand tightened into a ball. Corrin knew something, Odin was sure of it. There was no way to ask without following Corrin but Odin couldn’t do that now.

Well, he could. He, Laslow, and Selena could all leave and join Corrin. After all, if Corrin somehow knew about Valla then going with Corrin was their best bet to fulfil their promise to Anankos.

“Odin, we’re going.” Niles came up to him.

Odin felt drawn back to reality. He turned and stared at Niles, beautiful, witty Niles with a sorrowful line drawn on his face. Odin wanted to cup Niles’s face and take away the sorrow, to assure him that everything would be all right. Odin wanted to kiss Niles however, now wasn’t the time.

“Okay.” Odin nodded.

They went back to Leo. Odin immediately notice the stiffness in Leo’s posture, the slouch in his shoulder. He wanted to say something but it too would have to wait for later.

“Let’s go.” Leo’s voice was both firm and cracking.

“Yes, milord.” Odin and Niles responded.

~

That night Leo pulled both him and Niles into his room. Odin pressed soft kisses to Leo’s throat while Niles curled his fingers in Leo’s hair and kissed his voice away. Leo clung to both of them like they were life lines, that he’d fall into the ocean without them and sink down to the bottom. They fumbled to the bed and fell into it, Leo sandwiched between them. Holding Leo like this made the very thought of leaving him unbearable to Odin. He was glad he didn’t go.

Odin closed his eyes and buried his face half into the crook of Leo’s neck and the pillow. Niles was on Leo’s other side but Odin could feel Niles’s hand brush against his arm, the callouses from archery rough against the skin. Sleep came to Odin and he drifted off.

~

Things got worse before they got better.

Odin didn’t expect it but Corrin’s natural born leadership was pulling everyone together and it was with that spirit in mind that they traveled to meet up at the canyon. Odin remembered the canon. That was where they had teleported after escaping Valla. Clutching his tome Odin watched as one by one they all jumped down. His legs shook as another memory from the distant past reared its ugly head. Out of the corner of his eye Odin saw Laslow and Selena shoot him looks. Odin forced himself to jump so he didn’t worry them further.

Valla was everything Odin remembered and didn’t. It felt both familiar and part of a fleeting dream. Odin wanted to explore a little more but it was cut short by a cry of sadness and Scarlet’s dead body.

That was when they were attacked. Odin jumped and rolled into a dodge, feeling some rocks and sticks catch on his clothes. The sound of cloth ripping filled the air and Odin barely had time to wonder if that was his cloak when an enemy swung at him. Casting a spell Odin tasted the ozone and electricity dancing across his lips at the proximity. Turning around Odin continued to attack, feeling shock waves float across the ground and wind dance at his side, blowing what remained of his cloak. That meant he definitely destroyed some of his outfit. Odin sighed but now wasn’t the time to mourn the loss of his cloak. Opening his mouth Odin started to cast another spell but something hit him in the side. Toppling over Odin gasped out. Something heavy was on him, pinning him to the ground. The dull end of some weapon poked into his back and Odin gasped out.

“Well, well fancy seeing you here again.”

Arete. Odin hadn’t expected to see her again. He turned his head to look but she slammed something into the side of his head. Blood flowed and Odin coughed out.

“I am a bit disappointed you’re back but this may be fortunate for us.” Arete said. “So why don’t you tell me what your little plan is?”

“Never.” Odin tried to look around. Was he isolated? He wanted to get up but the undead soldier at her side kicked Odin.

“Don’t move.” Thin, sharp nails danced along his back, ripping the cloth open. “My, my someone has been through something.” Her fingers touched the scar. “It seems this isn’t your first time.”

First time for torture. Odin gasped out but then felt something hot against his back. It wasn’t as wide spread as the fire that first burned Odin’s back as it was merely held over the skin but Odin knew the pain that would follow.

“Answer me boy.” Arete ordered.

Odin was shaking. The memory of the mage, the burning. He didn’t want to remember it. He didn’t want to experience it. Where were the others? He couldn’t move.

“I said, answer me.” Arete’s fingers dug into his back. “Or I’ll burn you again.”

No… Odin steeled himself, hoping he didn’t bite too hard and hurt something. His fingers curled into the dirt. The fire was getting closer. This was it.

“Very well.” Arete was away from him. “I don’t want to be revealed to your little group just yet. So be a good boy and burn.”

She vanished and the fire was practically licking his back. Odin didn’t have enough time to prepare himself (he never would have enough).

The fire licked his skin and Odin screamed out. It wasn’t consuming his entire back but it would soon. There was no Brady or Kjelle to save him. He was alone. He was going to burn…

It hurt. It hurt so badly. Odin screamed out and clawed at the ground, trying to get away. He had to get away before the pain bound him… but it hurt so badly…

Something flew in the air and the fire stopped Odin couldn’t think. The kick from the soldier was starting to affect him. The smell of blood filled his nose and the burning sensation across his back wasn’t going away. Odin hated this. He wanted to stand up and retreat with everyone else despite that meaning they had to leave Scarlet’s body behind. This was just like when he was a kid…

“Odin!” That was Niles.

Groaning Odin tried to stand up, but his head spun. Warm arms curled around his shoulder and Niles had him in his arms. Odin would have been impressed with the feat of strength had his conscious not become spotty. He leaned into Niles’s chest and groaned.

“As much as I love you groaning against my chest this isn’t the situation nor the scenario I prefer.” Niles joked but his tone was breathless, fleeting.

Odin wanted to laugh but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes instead and let Niles take them back to their meeting spot. Upon arriving he heard the sound of someone racing towards him followed by the cool tingle of healing magic. Odin couldn’t see who had cast it but judging from the low tones it was Elise.

White light suddenly danced so brightly that Odin could see it with his eyes closed. When it disappeared he was whisked away, Niles talking with Leo. Odin wanted to reach out for Leo and touch him but everything was feeling heavy. His mind wandered and Odin hoped to Naga that Laslow and Selena were all right as well as everyone else.

They entered what sounded like a tent and then a bed met Odin’s weary body. The moment he was on the bed Odin fell asleep.

~

Odin woke up with Leo and Niles beside the bed, sitting on chairs. The moment his eyes fluttered they were at his side, hands lightly touching his hair.

 “Odin.” Leo’s voice was smooth.

“Leo, Niles.” Odin croaked out. “How long was I out?”

“Barely eight hours.” Niles responded before grabbing the pitcher of water and a glass. “Can you sit up?”

Odin thickly swallowed and tried to sit up. He could feel the bandages around his back, constricting and slightly scratchy. His arms were wobbly and he nearly collapsed but Leo caught him and gently helped him sit up, propping him up with pillows. Giving a thank you look Odin accepted the glass from Niles, who kept a grip on it too in case Odin’s fingers faltered. As he drank the water Leo quietly left, probably to grab a healer. It was confirmed a moment later when Elise came in with Leo, staff in hand. Niles took the water away and Odin focused on her.

“How are you feeling?” Elise asked, fingers tightly gripping her staff.

His body ached and his back hurt but it wasn’t burning. Odin cracked a small smile. “It’s not as bad as the first time.”

That was the wrong thing to say. He saw Leo’s eyes narrow and Niles stiffen beside him. Odin wanted to correct himself but that would draw attention to his blunder. He tried to change the topic.

“Can I move?”

Elise moved her staff in front of her. “Let me check the wound.”

She washed her hands before removing the bandages. Odin sat still and when the bandages were off he felt everyone’s gazes on his back. The burn was disgusting and Odin knew it. The dark skin, the crinkles and the red that never faded. The edges were slightly white and raised. Brady had done his best but with the situation they had been in proper healing had been limited. Wherever the new wounds were Elise healed them again before stepping away and smoothly bandaging it.

“You can move just be careful especially when you’re washing your back. Don’t aggravate the wound. I’ll check up on it tomorrow.” She told him.

“Thank you, Lady Elise.” Odin said.

Elise exited leaving Odin with Leo and Niles. Giving his best smile Odin tried to stand up. “Sorry for worrying you…”

“Stay there.” Leo suddenly ordered.

Odin froze and stared at Leo.

Leo walked over to him. “I don’t mean to pry but if you don’t mind me asking…”

Odin gave a crinkled smile. He had slipped up so it was best to just give a little bit and then hope that was enough to satisfy Leo and Niles. He wasn’t ashamed of the scar on his back but he didn’t want to draw attention to it being caused by a mage that wanted to torture him as a kid. Odin wished he could touch his back without an awkward motion like touching it would reassure everyone it was fine.

“It happened a long time ago. It’s not a big deal.” He settled on saying.

Niles’s lips twisted and he also took a step forward, towards Odin. “Forgive me for prying Odin,” He prefaced, “but that sort of scar isn’t an accidental one. It is a deliberate one.” His eye darkened. “Like the beginning of torture.”

Deliberate. Odin didn’t know what to say. His tongue felt heavy and a knot was twisting in his stomach. Leo and Niles both stared at him before Leo exhaled.

“You don’t need to bring it up if you don’t want to Odin. However, know that we’re always here to listen to you.”

Niles nodded. “Again, forgive my prying. Speak when you’re comfortable.”

The knot stopped forming and Odin felt a bit silly for not speaking but at the same time was glad silence was still a barrier between them. He curled his fingers into the blanket and felt a surge of tears hit the back of his throat. Odin coughed and pulled himself together. Now wasn’t the time to weep. First, he needed a bath. Then he could figure everything out later.

“Help me stand up?” Odin asked them. “I want to have a bath.”

Leo and Niles were immediately at his side, helping Odin up. He nestled into their warm embraced and stayed in their arms all the way to the baths.

~

Odin was clean and nestled in Leo’s massive bed, snuggled between his two lovers. The night was young and Odin didn’t feel particularly sleepy as he had slept for a long time already. Running his fingers over the sheets Odin closed his eyes and breathed out.

He didn’t know where to start and the words felt shut behind a wall. Odin wanted to say something but everything was getting caught on his tongue, unable to make it past his lips.

Niles hugged him tighter and traced his burn scar while Leo lightly touched his hair. Odin relaxed. He didn’t have to tell them right away. It felt so silly to admit that. Most people didn’t have a problem talking about their pasts but it always felt like a hurdle for Odin.

Except now, with Leo and Niles, it felt like a door in front of him, the keys in his hands. Odin could talk to them when he felt ready. For now, he could keep the door shut, the lid on tight.

Just a little while longer.

Odin fell asleep peacefully.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Father's sword: It's Lon'qu's sword as I usually head canon him as Owain's father.
> 
> Risen's mouths and dark smoke: I recently bought the FE Awakening art book and in the sketches for Risen there is a drawing of dark smoke coming out of their mouths.
> 
> Xander and swimming: It's canon that he can't swim well and I love it.
> 
> Sea dragons: Actual animals (look like seaweed and a seahorse had a baby) and in the FE Awakening art book there are notes that ask for the manakete's forms to move like they're in water and to look similar to a sea dragon.


End file.
